CSI VS FORENSIK

Crime scene:
Rays of rave blue light pours out of a distant window. Inside, a group of starlets with perfect bio-engineered boobs are pouncing about in their almost see-through night gowns. A brunette pours whisky all over her inviting cleavage. "Michelle, where's that light coming from?" She suddenly drops the heavy bottle, walks to the miror and sees three green lasers pointing at her C cup breasts. Bang bang bang!

CSI Las Vegas:


Catherine entered the crime scene in a nonchalant manner. A bloodied brunette lies on the paved walkway. A police inspector approached Catherine. "She was shot in her room and her friends carried her here to get help since the phone in the whole neighbourhood wasn't working." Catherine took a glance at the victim's body before she fetch for her equipments "Indian, 5'7", early twenties, part time model full time student." She looked at the police officer for confirmation. "Correct." The police officer answered, his face unamazed with Catherine's ability to guess the victim's stats.

Gil, the head CSI entered the crime scene after talking to a phone line repairman. Without even looking back, Catherine sensed Gil's presence. "Three gunshot wounds, shot with a GK-2005 sniper." Gil squated in front of the body to checked the victim's face. "Pretty girl. So how was your date last night Catherine?"

"It went well except for the fact that he was moving on to me too close too soon." Cathering wore her rubber glove and picked up a pair of tweezers. "Look," She carefully manouvered her tweezers to reach the back side of the victim's right ear and found a strand of blue thread that didn't match the victim's cloth or her friends' clothes. She then packed it into an sealable evidence pack. "I'm just not the kind of girl who falls in love at first sight."

"You should learn a thing or two from this girl Catherine." After examining the body for just 3 minutes, Gil stood up and looked at an abandoned house nearby. "By the looks of it, she was struck by love at first sight, from a distant too."

Who are you? Who-who-who-who?

(theme song entitled Who Are You by Pete Townshend)


Forensik Kuala Lumpur:

Sharifah Mastura got a call from balai. She rushed to her Proton Wira car, got inside and starts the engine. The engine starts. She left the Jaya Jusco parking lot and enters the highway. Camera shot from the car rear miror. Another angle from the side miror. And then from the the passenger seat. She finally arrived to the crime scene. She opened the door and got out without turning off the engine. She realized her mistake, got back to her car, stopped the engine, switched off the air-con and took a pack of Premier facial tissue paper to make it look like she purposely wants to her tissue slightly chilled.

Inspektor Sharifah Mastura struggled to get to the crime scene because the whole neighbourhood was crowding the crime scene to get a better look at the victim. Inspektor Mas asked a police inspector nearby. "Ni dah berapa lama mati ni?" Inspector Zam, the district chief officer who was one of the first policemen to arrive at the crime scene carressed his thick full moustache. "Dah lama mati nih puan."

After a brief spat with an indian bystander who accidentally stepped on his shiny black shoes, Lans Koperal Hamid enters the crime scene. "Sejuk ya malam ni, Inspektor Mas?" Caught off guard, Inspektor Mas stood up straight like a steel rod and gave her superior a Tabik Hormat "Ya tuan! Memang sejuk malam ni, tuan!"

Hamid put his hands on his back and asked Inspektor Zam a few important questions. "Ni dah berapa lama mati ni" "Dah lama tuan!"

"Cina ka Melayu?" "Hindu, tuan."

"Berapa umur?" "Saya tak pasti tuan, tapi saya rasa dia masih muda, tuan."

"Bagus Inspektor, kamu memang peka. Biar saya dan Inspektor Mas pula yang periksa mayat ini." Inspektor Zam gave his Tabik Hormat and exited the crime scene to give the recent update to reporters from Harian Metro and Kosmo!

Inspektor Mas put on her gloves and checked the body for gunshot wounds. After practically mangling the body to look for bullet entries, she reported her findings to Lans Koperal Hamid "Tiga das tembakan tuan. Dua di dada, satu di leher." Hamid looked pleased with her performance so far. "Buat pemeriksaan yang lebih menyeluruh pula."

"Baik tuan." Inspektor Mastura wore her gloves and went through the victim's body to look for her IC but only found a strand of blue thread at the back of the victim's right ear. "Ish!" She picked it up from the victim's ears and threw it away.
"Nampaknya..." Lans Koperal speaked up so all the policemen could hear him. "Kita ada kes bunuh."

Di wajah curiga~ Dan nada resah~ Dirasa berbeza~ Terima segala~

(theme song entitled Dedebu Cinta by Misha Omar)

To be continued....

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

seriously well written!

-one- said...

ermm i've seen better scripts... buttttt... this is kinda interesting...keep going on this... menarik menarik...

Qarl said...

hahaha..

like it! do it more often ya

RITZ CHEWAN said...

Are you sure Lans Korporal is higher rank than Inspektor?

Afiq Deen said...

seriously i've no idea. Wait, i think i'll ask bapak.

Afiq Deen said...

its not a script dang it. Poodah cit!

i am missmobilicious said...

that was hilarious!

Diran said...

did u copy this from harith iskandars show?

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